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Life Hack: What to do when you feel you're falling apart and everything is wrong

Updated: Sep 5, 2023

Check out this 7 step guide to overcoming "broken-ness"

Feel like nothing is going right and there's no where to turn? Follow this simple guide to get yourself out of that hole. Take one step at a time and don't skip a step! Share this article and share your comments if this helped you. Find more helpful tips on our YouTube channel at Journey into Joy with Jakki Gioia.

Step #1 - Pause. Take a breath.

Escape for a while, even if it's 10 min of no thoughts: sleep, binge watch tv, go for a walk/run, ride your horse, get out in nature, go to church, ride your bike, go sailing, get on your paddleboard or kayak, etc. Do something to relax your mind: get a massage or Reiki session, attend a sound bath or meditation class, take a sea salt and essential oil bath, listen to music, turn on positive affirmations. Journal, paint, get your feelings out in a creative way. Express your feelings to someone safe and non-judgmental like a counselor, parent or good friend. Just remember, your family and friends aren't therapists so don't use them to vent without giving back in some way. Love goes both ways!

Step #2 - Take stock.

What is going right. Make an actual list on paper or in your notes app. Notice how much is going right compared to what is wrong. Recount the things that have worked out throughout your life. Feel your energy return by focusing on what's right. Feel what joy feels like in your body. Feeling grateful for what is right will bring you more to appreciate.

"Writing things down helps get them out of your head so you can see them clearly" – Jakki Gioia

Step #3 - Look, Listen & Ask

Look for signs: numbers in sequence, songs on the radio, coincidences, conversations with random people that hit your heart, small miracles. On an especially challenging day for me when I was feeling broken and all my body pains were screaming out, I put on the tv and the home screen came up with no program and I walked away. A few minutes later a channel started playing that I've never put on before and it was all concerts. Soon the Coldplay concert came on and I felt an intense sense of inspiration. I realized that my mom who passed 9 months prior probably put this on to help me and I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and awe at the same time. This concert helped me get out of my funk and appreciate the power of music. If I didn't see this as a sign I may not have moved from hopeless to faithful.

Listen to your intuition. What do you feel down deep? Your heart knows the truth even if your mind can't figure it out. If you can't hear it, go back to #1. Doing things that bring you joy help unlock your heart to let intuition flow. Train yourself to hear the first thoughts that come to mind when something comes up you need to decide. Notice how your body reacts. If it's a positive response, it's good for you and follow it through. If it doesn't feel good, let it go and move on.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you need. Your higher power, angel & guides and friends and family are there to help you, but they can't if you don't ask. Learn how to open up and allow yourself to receive.

Step #4 - Embrace the messes

Instead of reaching for that cigarette, beer, cake, sex or phone, embrace what you are trying to escape. Go into the discomfort and Ask yourself, “why does it bother me so much? What in me needs to heal?” Listen for the answer.Is it sadness, disappointment, failure, lack of control? Face the pain and feel it. That is what needs to be healed. This is not the time for problem solving, only being present with the feelings. The way out of the mess is through it. Strength and resilience come through adversity. You never know what you're capable of unless you're forced to learn.

"Your messes are your message" – Pete Vargas, Motivational Speaker & Coach

Step #5 - Take action

When your energy returns and your mind is more clear, make small steps to recover in a positive way to turn the situation around. Make small decisions with low impact to raise your spirits. Tackle the issues 1 at a time. When you begin to feel successful, make the bigger decisions.

Step #6 - Keep the faith

Things usually have a way of working out when your spirit really wants a happy ending. Keep believing in miracles and they will show up.

Step #7 - Lean into LOVE

Do what you love. Allow love in from others. Show yourself some love and Be Nice to Yourself! Only when you claim your worth will others respect you. Then you will have even more love to lean into!


Remember, life is full of ups and downs. NOTHING stays the same and there is ALWAYS a chance for a better outcome. Start with yourself and watch what happens. Don't be afraid to ask for help along the way. We are not meant to do it all alone. If you would like help figuring things out, go here to get your FREE 30 minute consultation to see how I can help. Or check out my YouTube channel for daily affirmations and other cool self help tips. You can download a poster of this handy 7 Step Guide by clicking below. Thanks for reading and believe anything is possible!

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